Trying to get by ...

I spent the next year in a private hell. I couldn't talk to anyone other than Internet friends I made on various websites. It seemed that no one understood that when you lose a pregnancy it hurts. It doesn't matter to me that my baby wasn't yet a full term baby, she was mine. I found myself playing the time game, oh today I would have been six months...today I would be delivering. That was the worse. I read so many books and I was determined to find out why this happened to me. I never had any gynecological problems other than heavy periods, my prior pregnancies were hard with preterm labor but I did ok. I decided to finally let my husband know that I was really having a hard time with this and when we talked I felt validated. Yup, he held me and let me cry till I couldn't cry anymore. This made me feel like someone knew what I was going through, we also decided at that time to try to get pregnant again. That was in may of 2009, we tried to conceive and I was surprised it didn't happen right off the bat. Any other time I got pregnant fast. By the time the holidays rolled around I kinda gave up. We had a busy season with a reunion on his families side and his mom coming from Tonga to see us all. So we just went about life doing the day by day and eventually rang in the new year..2010! Four days later on January 4,2010 I found out I was pregnant and due sept 2010!!